At the main entrance of the barracks, I paused and took a deep breath.
Beyond a doubt, I felt Her eyes on me moments ago.
Again.
But from whence the feeling? I dare not look around to see where She might be, dare not give any sign that I am anything but about my business as a servant. I allowed myself only a few fleeting seconds to savor that sweet awareness before I schooled my face to impassive normalcy and continued through the large common room of the barracks.
Several off duty guards of both sexes were gathered at one of the larger tables, their mugs of ale forming a circle around a battlefield of cards and large gold coins scattered across the worn wooden surface. One of the female guards spotted me, her face breaking into a grin of amused delight.
“Ahren! About time! Come join us!”
I paused long enough to give a sigh of mock dramatic exasperation then shook my head and chuckled softly. “Saym, really? Why should I? You wiped me clean four nights ago.”
Loud guffaws reverberated from the other card players. One of the male guards heartily slapped Saym’s tanned shoulder. “Aye, you sure did, Saym.” He said. “And what a magnificent move, calling Ahren’s bluff, after the rest of us all had folded…..”
“You all were so stupidly blinded by Ahren’s charming personality….but not me…” Saym bragged. “No, sirree…. Not me….” She grinned at me. “Saw right through you and nailed your ass.”
“Yea, yea, you sure did.” I held up my hands and shrugged in good natured acknowledgement. “Sorry, no can do tonight. Thanks to Saym, I got no gold left to my name.”
“You could always offer some other assets, Ahren, seeing that tonight’s your last night with us.” A second male guard smirked suggestively, and was rewarded by a kick to his lower leg under the table from Saym. “Ommmppftt! Ow!”
“Shut up and mind your manners, Raed!” Saym glared at the man. “Ahren is Lord Michon’s servant, not a barracks whore. “ She looked back at me, rolling her eyes, “Raed’s had too much to drink tonight, Ahren. You know how it is.”
Ignoring the exchange between Saym and Raed, I replied, “Ayeup.” Gesturing to my tunic and breeches, soiled and stained from the afternoon’s bloody work of beheading, gutting, and preserving the last of the chickens under Madame Adelaide’s direction. “I just want to get cleaned up and finish packing. ”
Saym stood up and gripped my shoulder. “Goodnight and safe journey, upon the morrow, Ahren.”
“Thanks, Saym. Take care.” I replied warmly. I nodded to each of the guards still seated at the table, including Raed. “Goodnight, all.” The tinkle of coin striking coin announced the resumption of the card game as I turned and continued my interrupted journey towards the sleeping area of the barracks.
Several hours later, clean, and the rest of my few belongings packed away, I paused at the small window of my sleeping cubicle and gazed out into the night. Indeed, this was my last night at Lord Michon’s Shire of the East. Things certainly had changed quickly in the past week or so, and on the morrow, I was leaving this Shire. I let my thoughts drift backwards to two nights ago.
I nervously waited outside the door to Lord Michon’s private study while His male servant went inside to announce my presence. His Lordship specifically sent for me and I had no idea why. His message was delivered in such a manner that brokered no dilly dallying, so in all haste I immediately excused myself from my normal evening duties of helping Madame Adelaide clear the last remnants of the night’s dinner in the kitchen. As I followed the servant who delivered Lord Michon’s summons, I racked my memory for any transgressions that I may have unwittingly committed recently. None came to mind.
In the few short months since I came to the Shire of the East, I strove to be very careful to be as dependable and efficient a servant that I could be, without being sexually subjugated, as most women were in Lord Michon’s service. Fortunately, for all His masculine ego and prowess, Lord Michon was also a man of honor and integrity, and thus far, acknowledged and respected my wishes to remain celibate. I fervently hoped this unexpected summons wasn’t a sign that He was starting to change His mind and now viewed me as a challenge to conquer sexually. I mentally braced myself for the possibility that He might force the issue with less than welcome actions. I truly did not want to resort to using the dagger hidden in my boot.
After all, He ruled over a Shire where the majority of female inhabitants were in servitude to men, whether it be their husband, father, Master, or other male authority figure. Such was the state of affairs in this Shire I oft wondered why my beloved, Callyn bade me to come here. Unfortunately, ere she could voice her reasons, she departed for the spirit realm, taking her reasons with her.
The door soon opened by the same servant who indicated with a slight jerk of his head that Lord Michon was within by the fireplace. “His Lordship is waiting for you.”
Even though technically the servant and I were equals, I nodded at him politely and murmured a respectful “Thank you” before striding purposefully towards the figure waiting by the fireplace.
He was sitting in His favorite chair, a large dark oak piece with intricately carved designs. Precious gemstones embedded in strategic places within these designs. With its plush cushions, of a rich royal blue velvet, the chair commanded attention when one entered the room. From gossip gleaned in the kitchen and elsewhere, it was said that Lord Michon’s father carved the chair with His own hands, that the chair was a prized gift from the ruler of another shire many leagues away in the North, and that the chair had been part of a treaty bargain. No one knew the exact truth, but all were in agreement that the chair had considerable monetary as well as sentimental value for His Lordship.
Lord Michon silently watched my approach, swirling a dark ruby liquid in the crystal goblet He held with one hand.
I prided myself in being able to accurately read facial expressions and body language to judge the mood or intent of others. To my relief, as far as I was able to discern of Lord Michon’s expression and relaxed pose, I saw none of the predatory signs of a sexual nature that I was half-expecting, half dreading to see. Instead, He was obviously in a pensive mood.
When I reached the proper distance from His chair, I went down on one knee, both hands resting on the other knee and bowed my head, silently awaiting His acknowledgement.
“Thank you, Mallory. You may go,” Lord Michon dismissed the servant that had summoned me. Only when the door closed with an audible click did He direct His words to me. “You may be at ease, Ahren.”
“Thank You, Milord.” I murmured softly before I stood up straight, feet slightly apart and my hands clasped behind my back. “I came as quickly as You commanded. How may I serve You tonight, Sir?”
He drank from His goblet as He regarded me with shadowed grey eyes. I was attired as was my usual wont, dark brown breeches, a tan work tunic with the sleeves rolled halfway up my arms, and sturdy boots. I was much more comfortable in the typical work clothes of the male servants in His keep. No frilly gowns or soft slippers for me. He had known it from the very start when He accepted my service, and soon abandoned all attempts to convert me.
“I have a task for you, Ahren.” It was not a command, but rather a simple statement.
Involuntarily, I raised one eyebrow slightly. His choice of words and the nuance of His voice surprised me. “A task, Sir?”
“Yes, Ahren, a task.” Waving the goblet in His hand, He indicated the empty, less ornately decorated chair across from His. “Please be seated.”
I was surprised at the invitation. I always stood at attention while in Lord Michon’s presence. I carefully kept my facial expression calm and matter-of-fact as I seated myself. “Thank You, Sir.
“I am sending Lady Kellina to take up ruler ship of the shire to the west of here.” Lord Michon said. “And I want you to accompany Her.”
I could not help the exultation that leapt from the depths of my inner being as I immediately grasped the ramifications of His words. The beautiful Lady Kellina was Lord Michon’s most favored. No other woman had stirred the fires of my passion after Callyn died, until that day, months ago, when I first laid eyes on Lady Kellina.
The power of my instant attraction to Her was such that I knew then and there without question; I would be treading very dangerous ground if I ever showed the slightest sign of inappropriate interest in Lady Kellina. No one could ever know, no one could ever suspect how deeply She affected me, especially those under Lord Michon’s own roof. The bitter knowledge of Her devoted servitude to Him did nothing to blunt nor deter my attraction to Her from deepening as the months passed.
Despite my inner excitement, a small part of me remained cautious and wary. I put just the right touch of innocent incredulity in my voice.
“Me, Sir? Accompany Lady Kellina? I’m flattered, Sir… but why me?”
Lord Michon did not immediately answer. He leaned back against His chair and drank again from His goblet. He then set the goblet aside on the nearby end table, then propped His elbow on the arm of the chair, the flat of His hand serving as a momentary resting place for His chin. For several heartbeats His eyes held mine.
I did not flinch from His steady gaze, but neither challenge nor defiance did I offer. It was as if He was taking one final appraisal of me, weighing and measuring my worth. I remained silent, waiting for Him to continue.
He allowed Himself a small grunt of satisfaction, as if finally coming to a decision, “You’ve only been in My service for a scant few months, yet you have proven yourself to be a very efficient and dependable servant.” He sat up straighter in His chair and smiled briefly at me, “You are not afraid of hard work. You are clever with your hands. You have demonstrated you can think and act quickly, with great creativity and resourcefulness, when confronted with a problem or difficult task. With all those qualities, Ahren, you are worth more than a dozen or more men in My service combined.”
“I don’t know what to say, Sir. I am humbly honored by Your assessment… and Your consideration of me for this… task, MiLord.” I briefly looked away from Him, towards the fireplace, as if seeking courage or inspiration from the flames dancing amongst the logs. Once again, my thoughts raced through the implications.
I didn’t have much knowledge of this shire to the west of here, other than it had fallen to ruin and had been abandoned for many years. And He was … sending Lady Kellina…His most favored submissive… to be the ruler… of this derelict shire? Difficult as it was to do so, I forced myself to put my private feelings for Lady Kellina in abeyance. There was more to this turn of events than appeared on the surface. It was so tangible; I could almost feel it as a physical touch in the space separating me from Lord Michon.
“Ahren.” His voice called me back from my firelight contemplations. “I need not tell you that this is not something that I take lightly. I intend to give Kellina every tool and resource that is in My power to give, to ensure Her success as new ruler of the shire. I would have you serve Kellina as you have served Me. And more.”
I turned my eyes back to Him at His slight slip of omitting the honorific for Lady Kellina…not once, but twice. Yes, there it was, that definite, unspoken undercurrent. My senses went into full alert. Surely I had not somehow betrayed myself…and He was aware of those feelings that I had fought so hard to conceal? I willed myself to be cautious in choosing my next words, and not leap to false conclusions or assumptions.
“More, MiLord?”
He did not appear to notice just how softly I whispered my question. “Lady Kellina is very precious to Me, much more than you can ever know.” He abruptly rose from His chair, picked up His goblet, and went to the huge window next to the fireplace and gazed out to the night beyond the glass panes.
Oh, how I wished I could see His face more clearly, at that precise moment, but the shadows were deeper at the window where He stood. His back was to me and the firelight was not robust enough to reach out and create enough of a reflection from the window to banish said shadows. Yet I could see the subtle signs of inner turmoil in His stance.
The silence hung in the air for several moments. He drank again, then without turning towards me, He softly said, “Lady Kellina is with child.”
I shut my eyes at the sudden pain and anguish that tore through me at His words, as if He had plunged a knife deep into my heart and cruelly twisted the blade. My earlier elation shattered into tiny pieces. She was… with child? My blood boiled, and I struggled to hold back the tide of white hot anger that rushed through me. My imagination painted unwelcome pictures in my mind. Of Her lying naked underneath Him. Of Him thrusting and planting His seed inside Her.
I was one breath away from doing the unthinkable, of launching myself from my chair to physically attack Lord Michon, when I heard the faintest of whispers in my ear. “Don’t. Your love is true. Hold fast to it. Believe in it with all your heart and soul. All will be well. ” The whispered words faded, but their effect was immediate. It was as if I was doused with a bucket of cold water. The anger and agony abated, replaced by gentle waves of calmness and peacefulness. Bewildered, I opened my eyes and glanced around, seeking the source of the shadowy voice.
There was no one else in the room, save the two of us. Lord Michon was still at the window, His goblet raised to His lips, seemingly unaware of the effect His words provoked. I knew it was not Him, for whoever or whatever the whisperer was, it came from right next to or behind me. The space of time between Lord Michon’s revelation of Lady Kellina’s condition and the wild pendulum of my emotions from one extreme to the other was only a few heartbeats.
I was surprised at how mild and composed I was when I found my voice again. “I see, Milord.”
He finally turned from the window and reclaimed His chair opposite from me. “Do you? Then know this…only select few others know about Lady Kellina’s condition, at least for now. And now that you know, I demand your pledge that you will not share this knowledge with anyone else without My permission.”
“Yes, Milord,” I unhesitatingly answered. “You have my word, Sir.”
“Good.” He nodded. “You’ve yet to give Me cause to doubt your loyalty, and I don’t expect that to change. And because of that, Ahren, there is another reason why I want you to serve Lady Kellina.”
I nodded and met His eyes again. “And what may that be, Milord?”
He hesitated, a brief grimace of distaste crossing His face before answering. “There have been offers…from others… for your services, Ahren.”
The blood ran cold in my veins. “Offers…from others… Milord?”
He sighed heavily and nodded gravely. “I’m going to be blunt with you, Ahren. Some of the minor lords in the shire view you as an aberration, for you do not conduct yourself as a proper…female submissive. They want naught else but to possess you so as to make an example of you, Ahren.”
Bile rose in my throat, forcing me to tear my eyes away from Lord Michon’s gaze. This time, it was I that abruptly rose from my chair and sought refuge by the window.
He did not reprimand me for the breach of protocol, as was His right.
Again, there was that whisper in my ear. “Take courage. All will be well.” As if on cue, the pieces suddenly fell in place. I finally understood.
By asking me to serve Lady Kellina and accompany Her away from here, to the western shire, He was justified in refusing these offers from the other lords without losing their respect or planting seeds of public discord. At the same time, out of His own compassion and understanding nature, He was giving me honorable reasons to remain free from the sexual servitude that was expected of female servants in His Shire. I would be very much a fool if I thought I could remain here peacefully, if I was already marked as a target by those with less savory scruples.
I took a deep breath and turned away from the window to face Him. All traces of my inner turmoil vanished in light of my heightened respect and admiration for Him. I now regretted my earlier misgivings about Him, for this indeed was a rare gift offered by a man of His status.
I crossed the distance from the window to His chair and dropped to one knee. I bowed my head briefly then looked directly at Him, knowing that He could and would see the strength and depth of my gratitude in my eyes.
“My Lord Michon, Your wish is my command. I will serve Lady Kellina as I have served You, and I will strive to do my utmost to protect Her. This I pledge to You. ”
As I combed fingers through my still damp ash blonde hair, my mouth thinned into a grimace that was equal parts trepidation and disgust as I recalled Lord Michon’s words. Others had made offers… for me? Raed’s boorish attitude earlier tonight was typical of the male guards towards me, as was the thinly disguised contempt of the male servants in Lord Michon’s household. Those, I could reasonably deal with. But the noble lords, no matter how minor their power was compared to Lord Michon’s, I definitely wanted to avoid at all costs. Which meant, more than ever, starting on the morrow, I needed to be ever vigilant.
I moved from the window to the narrow barracks bed, pausing to douse the thick candle on the small end table. As I laid down and stretched, my thoughts turned to the Lady Kellina. I smiled softly, remembering that sensation of being watched by Her earlier in the evening.
I knew sleep would elude me this night, what with the cacophony of emotions now flooding me. On the one hand, I was anticipating my new assignment with eagerness, even joy. Being with her?? Can any imagine my joy at such a prospect? And yet … I was absolutely and completely terrified at the prospect of being with her. Protecting. Serving. Close enough to touch, and daring not even think of such a thing.
She was with child, by Lord Michon I was certain. He had given no other indication. From what I had seen of her, there was no sign yet. Not speak of it? What of when her stomach became swollen and she was great with child? What was I to do then? Even as I thought the question, I knew the answer. Protect. Serve. Her and her child. Even to be near her was a gift, that there would ever be more I dared not hope, and yet, secretly longed that it would be so.
I fell into a fitful slumber at last, dreaming of hazel eyes that had already pierced my very soul.
Tags: dragons, dragons heart saga, fantasy, L. Kupfer, Lynn Kupfer, online novel
